Heartbroken? 💔  Try Courting Venus Instead of Your Ex.

Have you ever noticed how heartbreak gets into everything?

A song, a street, a cup of coffee. Even the loveliest memories begin to hurt. The memory of a kiss grows little teeth. A place you once loved suddenly feels like somewhere you shouldn't go.

It's as though sorrow has spread a heavy blanket over your whole world.

There is an old magical theory that offers a strange explanation for this, and an even stranger way to change it.

In Renaissance magic, strong feelings were believed to attract more of their own kind, much like a tuning fork that makes another fork with the same note begin to hum.

Love, beauty and joy belonged to the planet Venus. Sadness, grief and melancholy belonged to Saturn.

So, in this magical view, a heart full of heartbreak begins to resonate with Saturn. The more you dwell on your sorrow, the more you call upon his influence. And soon, everything seems to carry the same sad note.

But here's the interesting part.

The old magicians believed that one influence could be weakened by bringing in another of a contrary nature.

Which brings us to a little experiment.

If heartbreak is keeping us in tune with Saturn, what happens when we deliberately begin courting Venus instead?

By filling our days with the flowers, fragrances, music, beauty and pleasures traditionally associated with her, we begin to strike a different note.

In the old magical understanding, we're inviting Venus's influence to grow stronger while Saturn's melancholy begins to loosen its hold.

We're going to court Venus as though she were someone we wished to fall in love with. Learn her tastes. Bring her presents. Take her on dates. Find little things that might delight her.

And see if we can persuade Saturn to lift his heavy blanket off our world.

How to Court Venus

Fortunately, the old magical books tell us a great deal about her tastes.

The game is simple. For the next seven days, do one small thing each day that might delight Venus. Give it your attention and enjoy it as though you were spending time with her.

Friday is traditionally Venus's day, if you want to plan a particularly special date.

And What About Saturn?

He may still come to visit. Some mornings, you'll wake up thinking about the person you miss. You'll hear a song and feel that old ache again.

When that happens, imagine Saturn sitting in his usual chair, looking gloomy, with his heavy coat buttoned to the chin. You can greet him politely. But you have another guest to entertain now.

Bring Venus a flower. Find her a sweet pear. Play a song she'd love. Take her somewhere beautiful.

Remember the old theory of sympathy: like calls to like.

When your heart is full of grief, it rings like a tuning fork, calling to Saturn and all his melancholy. The more attention you give that sorrow, the louder his note becomes.

But every time you court Venus, you strike a different note.

You give your attention to beauty, your senses to pleasure, and your imagination to delight. In the old magical understanding, these things call to Venus, strengthening your sympathy with her instead.

And slowly, Saturn's heavy blanket begins to lift.

The song becomes beautiful again. The garden is simply a garden. The smell of rain belongs to the rain, instead of someone who is gone.

The world has been there all along, waiting beneath his blanket like a sleeping garden.

A heart that has spent months answering to Saturn can learn to sing in Venus's key.

And one day, you'll notice that Saturn has folded up his blanket, taken his heavy coat, and gone home for the day.